Wednesday, May 22, 2013

What's going on, and a May book binge ...


First, a bit of housekeeping: I’m sorry that the chapter didn’t go up last Wednesday as scheduled. It will go up tonight, but I’m taking next week off to catch up with the art chores. So expect to see some new paintings cropping up on the Facebook page … we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog entry.

It’s May. That means books.

I’m a big believer in positive incentives. I prefer the carrot to the stick, whether I’m the one dishing it out or the one taking it. I like to dangle little rewards for good behavior, whether I’m motivating students to finish their essays or motivating myself to get the dishes done. There’s a piece of chocolate with my name on it for when I finish the rewrites on Teh Novel. Yes, chocolate. Tasty, tasty chocolate …

Ahem.

Anyway, I long ago got into the habit of arranging a book binge for myself in late spring. When I was a kid, my parents would buy me a new book every June as a reward for getting straight A’s in school. (Yes, one new book for an entire report card of nothing but A’s … my folks drove a hard bargain, and they knew exactly where my levers were.) It was an event up there with Christmas and my birthday, and conveniently came in the middle of the long lull between those two events. I won’t say I got good grades specifically because it meant I got a new book out of the deal—my ego was way too tied up in my academic performance for that to be true—but it gave me something to look forward to and a reason not to slack off at the end of the school year.

Later on, when I got into middle school and high school and had some kind of standardized test just about every year in May or June, I started buying myself a new book or two, or a small stack of comics, as a reward for putting up with all that answer-bubbling monotony. I would always finish my tests early, and the book acted as a nice incentive to finish the tests well—if I did a good job, I could read my shiny new book while I waited for everyone else to finish. (On those rare tests that banned outside reading material in the testing room, I generally wrote scenes on scratch paper and then read them.) So I continued the tradition of book-bingeing in those years.

When I got to college, I used the book binge as a reward for getting through finals. Those tests actually were difficult for me, and they required a lot of studying and a lot of stress. I don’t handle stress well when I register it—if I don’t manage to ignore it entirely, I tend to weigh the benefits of whatever I’m doing against the cost of the stress, and the stress typically wins by just a little bit and I give up. So the carrot was necessary to tip the scales—maybe the classes themselves weren’t worth the stress of finals, but the classes and a new book or two were worth quite a bit more. I continued the custom in grad school.

Then, my first year out of grad, May rolled around and I felt vaguely bereft. I had no particular deadlines in that month, no onerous task that required a carrot to make me complete it. But I missed the warm pleasure of stretching out under a tree—or in the backseat of my car, or in a comfy chair by an open window—and reading my way through a stack of new stories in the late-spring sunshine. And I thought: Where is it written that grown-ups don’t need carrots? Is there some rule that says I can’t buy a couple of books just because it’s May?

So this week I’m putting together a used-book order. It’s mostly graphic novels this year, with perhaps a prose novel or two into the bargain. I’m filling in gaps in my Winter Soldier collection and catching up with PS238. I’m exploring the Kid Loki arc Marvel Comics has put together in the last few years, because I recently got a nifty story idea involving Norse mythology and I want to make sure my Loki doesn’t overlap too much with theirs. (So far I’m not overlapping at all, except for elements of the original myth, which is nice.) And I have a line on some Peter S. Beagle stuff too.

Someday soon I’ll have to find myself a new shade tree …

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

In the company of my tribe



I’m writing this blog late because I am still exhausted from Saturday.

On Saturday, I cleared my schedule except for two engagements—getting some emergency last-minute business cards printed up, and driving umptyfratzmumble miles across huge swaths of Los Angeles to a little town called Beverly Hills for a grad-school reunion. Now, I don’t think of myself as a Beverly Hills kind of person. In fact, thanks to a childhood spent among the children of much wealthier families (my parents sent me to private school despite not quite being in a private-school tax bracket), palatial houses make me itch. I always think I’m going to breathe wrong and break something that costs more than my car. I just about had a heart attack when I rang the doorbell and it was opened by a tidy woman in a serving uniform. (My immediate thought was “butler”, but I was too nervous to ask.)

I was wearing black combat boots with my best jeans and a button-down shirt because it was too hot, miserable, and hilly to bother wearing a dress and heels. Try talking to a polished domestic servant while you’re wearing combat boots and hoping nobody notices; it’s quite an education.

But once I got over the heart attack and was escorted inside, past some statuary that wouldn’t have been out of place in Wayne Manor … once I’d introduced myself to the group and tried not to stammer … once I’d politely explained to the well-dressed woman, in a whisper, that I was serious about not drinking the champagne and plain old ice water would be just fine … I was home. Because among the dozen or so alumni sitting in the professor’s Beverly Hills living room was at least one guy who hadn’t come in combat boots, but had come wearing green sneakers, red pants with blue plastic spikes sticking out of them, a black shirt printed with neon orange chili peppers, and what appeared to be a crown made out of dark-blue felt with rhinestones hot-glued all over it. Oh, and a black vest, but I found my eye tended to slide right over that unaccountably drab piece of the ensemble. 

Oh, right, I thought. I am among writers.

My graduate school happened to be the Master of Professional Writing program at the University of Southern California, and while I don’t often go out of my way to attend USC alumni events (like this one, they’re usually held far from where I live and are full of people who dress a lot better than I do), I would probably set myself on fire and crawl over broken glass to hang out with Professor Gina Nahai. She taught one of the most useful classes I took in grad school, a fiction workshop, and helped me learn not only basic workshop skills but also a rule that I still quote to my own students and any newcomers to any workshop I’m in: “Ninety percent of the feedback you will get in this room is crap. Your job is to find the other ten.” 

A wise woman, Gina. I will never forget the evening when one of her students suggested to me, with a straight face, that Masks would be a lot better if I just changed the ending so that it turned out Rae was an inmate in an insane asylum and had hallucinated the entire story. Horrified and not sure I’d heard right, I stared at the student and asked, “So, you’re saying that I should have it turn out that it was all a dream?” “Yes!” the student replied, without a trace of irony, as our classmates looked on in disbelief. And Gina, bless her heart, said nothing about it—she just quickly called on someone else to give me their notes, and shot me a look that said If you think that advice is in the ten percent, then you are an even bigger fool than you think you are. 

A wonderful woman.

So I spent four hours on Saturday afternoon chatting to other members of the Gina’s Kids club, networking and exchanging contact information and swapping story ideas and attempting to eat the delicious food spread out on a nearby table but totally failing because I was talking too much and there were too many other people in the way. (Somebody once told me that the way to get reporters to show up for any press conference, no matter how pointless, was to announce that there would be free food. Writers have elevated munchie-mooching to an art form, but I’m strictly an amateur.) I met several lovely new people—alumni from other years—who asked to be added to an online writing circle that I’m starting up. Other people took my cards and promised to use or recommend my services as an editor. A high-school teacher in the group asked for Masks bookmarks. We made jokes at the expense of Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, and a number of much more obscure books. Gina looked on, smiling. She’d beat her students with sticks if she thought it would get them to network. I even stopped compulsively monitoring the location and structural stability of nearby statuary.

The guy with the spiked pants turned out to run a comic-book company called Graphation, and he invited everyone to his zombie dog walk the following day. Writers!

We scribblers are a solitary bunch, for the most part. The most important part of what we do takes place in quiet rooms, or in corners of coffee shops, and always inside our own heads. I sometimes think we write to break the isolation—to try to communicate to the world all the astonishing things going on in our brains. But when we get together and support each other, we’re better for it. We find out that the writer in the next chair isn’t drinking the champagne either, and was equally embarrassed about it until she found out she wasn’t the only one. We find out that the writer we’ve been swapping editorial notes with is actually writing a novel with a plot that parallels one we’re writing, but with a completely different take on the subject that both precludes any possibility of plagiarism and reassures us that we’re not so crazy for chasing this idea after all. We find out that other people also wonder whether a zombie dog walk is a dog-walk for zombies or a walk for zombie dogs. (The answer, as far as I could tell, was yes.)

We find out we’re not alone. That’s worth driving umptyfratzmumble miles any day.

And the shoe situation turned out fine, too. Combat boots are hilariously clever when someone wearing stilettos accidentally steps on your feet …

Monday, April 29, 2013

A blog for Mrs. Neese



I’m neck-deep in two books right now, so here’s a blog entry inspired by my eighth-grade English teacher, Mrs. Neese.

If you knew Mrs. Neese, you’d be really excited by that sentence. From second through eighth grade, I attended a school that I’m still convinced was actually an outer ring of hell. I was miserable. Mrs. Neese was one of only two teachers I had during that time who had the good sense to take a highly self-motivated low-level genius and, rather than making her sit still and do what everybody else was doing, just let her run. One of those teachers put me in the school spelling bee so I got my longed-for chance to show everyone that I really was good for something (albeit not sports or being pretty or having rich parents). Mrs. Neese just let me write. 

I was in middle school by then, and she made clear early on that she was totally fine with my writing stories in her class as long as I also did the homework. And she was surprisingly flexible about the homework part. She let me write weird takes on her in-class assignments, like a love story with only one onstage character in it (he dropped dead at the end) and a legend in which the god of dreams was really a frustrated actor. The very first sentence of the very first story about Rae—which happened to be the very first story in what became the Masks universe—was written in her class. I even remember the seat I was in that January day: in the back row, the seat on the far left as I faced the chalkboard, the northeast corner of the room. I remember looking up and seeing her glance my way as I scribbled frantically in the notebook I’d stolen from the supply cupboard at home. There’s no way she believed I was doing eighth-grade homework in a 300-sheet three-subject spiral notebook. But she didn’t stop me. 

So when Mrs. Neese (a fan of Masks on Facebook, because she’s awesome like that) suggested recently that I blog about writers who have inspired me, I couldn’t exactly say no, could I? Here, then, is a by-no-means complete list of five authors who have something to do with who I am and what I do today …

1. J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis – All right, nobody’s ever going to accuse me of writing fantasy in the style of either of these two men. My writing is about as far as you can get from the plummy Oxfordian tone of Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia or the lyrical high fantasy of The Lord of the Rings. These two make the list, and make the list together, because their books are some of my earliest memories. My dad read me The Hobbit and Farmer Giles of Ham when I was four years old, and the Narnia books followed soon after—in their published order, beginning with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, not the stupid retcon order beginning with The Magician’s Nephew. And say what you will about Lewis’s many shortcomings as a novelist or Tolkien’s bouts of academic logorrhea, they didn’t matter to me when I was too little to be reading tiny print by myself. Those stories showed me what was possible—that kids could wander into alternate worlds through mysterious objects called wardrobes, that animals could talk, that a creature called a hobbit could find himself on an adventure with dwarves and a wizard but keep worrying about his kettle and his pocket-handkerchiefs. Even though I didn’t go into fantasy writing as an adult, and I don’t even read much fantasy now (I joke that Tolkien set the bar so high that no one else will do), that baseline informs much of what I write now. If you ever wonder why Rae talks to figures of legend and why I think it’s totally okay to have a zombie arrow sitting next to the death ray at a supervillain auction, it’s because somewhere in the back of my brain is a five-year-old who knows that dragons exist, and that their scales can be pierced by arrows and by lion claws …

Best jacket photo EVER.
2. Timothy Zahn – This author made the list because where Tolkien and Lewis were the foundation of my childhood reading, he formed the basis of my “grown-up” reading life. I got into Zahn the same way most of his fans probably did—I read his first Star Wars tie-in novel, Heir to the Empire. I was ten years old and had just seen the original Star Wars trilogy, and I was starving for more Luke/Han/Leia action. But two things stuck out to me in that first book and never really went away. 

The first was that Zahn wrote one-sentence paragraphs. Heck, some of his paragraphs were sentence fragments. And it worked for him! I’d never seen anyone do that before, but for him it worked perfectly. He’s to blame for every one of my sentence-fragment paragraphs since then. The second standout point was the way he ran multiple plotlines simultaneously—something I hadn’t seen done much up to that point—and more importantly, several of those plotlines were intensely emotional. I was used to stories that painted human emotions in broad, melodramatic strokes; things like rage and grief and joy all served to advance the plot. Zahn used subtler emotions to color his scenes, to move his story along without requiring those emotions to spur an action, and occasionally to gut-punch his readers. For example, after a plot-heavy scene where a ghostly Obi-wan Kenobi tells Luke some plotty stuff and then says his final goodbyes, Luke’s reaction really stuck with me: “For the third time, he’d been orphaned.”
I admit, my ten-year-old self hadn’t thought about the situation that way; that sentence hit me like a wave. Suddenly the story wasn’t about space battles and laser swords anymore; it was about a kid who’d lost his family three times over. Lightsabers, hell; I read the next three books looking for more of that feeling. As soon as I finished that trilogy of novels, I tracked down every other Zahn book I could find, hunting for that thread of human emotion tangled up in his knotty sci-fi plots. And more fragmentary sentences, of course. (I also listened to several of his more action-oriented books over and over on audiotape, so he’s probably had a bigger influence than anyone else on how I write fight scenes. I even hear his readers narrating them in my head.)

Also the best author photo ever.
"What duck?"
3. Terry Pratchett – Good Sir Terry is a more recent addition to my list of influences, but he’s an important one thanks to my years-long battle with insomnia. Not long after I discovered Pratchett’s brilliantly satirical Discworld books, I began to have trouble sleeping at night, and my doctor advised me to set a rigid bedtime routine—the same actions repeated at the same time, every night, to cue my body and brain that it was time to power down for a while. The doctor recommended that I include reading in the regimen, as most people find that a relaxing activity. However, I tend to get really intensely excited while reading, so perhaps in hindsight it wasn’t such a great bit of advice. For several nights, I lay awake thinking anxiously about whatever I’d been reading before bed, wondering how the story would turn out. I finally decided that I’d have to read something so familiar, so utterly predictable, that I could go to sleep without thinking about it. I grabbed the nearest Discworld book, which I’d recently read two or three times, and started reading a few pages a night.

I want to emphasize that the works of Terry Pratchett, lyrical and innovative and side-splittingly funny as they are, don’t actually make a very good soporific for most people. But when you’ve read them enough times to know most of the jokes by heart, they at least won’t keep you up at night. Over the next several years, I read almost every book in the Discworld series, except for a few of the earliest volumes that I didn’t like so much, over and over and over again. There are about 20 Pratchett books on my shelf that just rotate across my bedside table. Right now I’m probably on my tenth reading of Monstrous Regiment, averaging 20 to 30 pages per night. That much exposure has to seep in somewhere, and I’m beginning to notice little signs: more absurd situations creeping into my stories, a certain renewed interest in wordplay, and an awful lot of British slang that I have to delete on the rewrites … 

4. Spider Robinson – Where I grew up, “hippie” was a dirty word. All that peace-love-dope stuff was for cowards and sissies. In my town, the most important social events were all held at the local shrine to Richard Nixon (it had a topiary effigy of Checkers in the garden and, at least when I was a kid, no mention of Watergate anywhere). Consider, then, the effect of Spider Robinson, a proud self-identified hippie best known for a series of witty and unexpectedly touching humorous SF stories set in a Long Island bar. The short stories in his Callahan series made me giggle, and then immediately made me think. While I won’t claim to agree precisely with Robinson’s views on everything (we will always differ in our opinions of the Beatles), he never stopped impressing me with a) the speed and subtlety of his wit and b) the breathtakingly human heart that beats in every sentence he writes. I don’t think I’ve ever read a more human writer, and I mean that in the best possible way. When he’s not writing about drinking games, punning contests, and intergalactic insanity, Robinson likes to wrestle with Big Ideas. He doesn’t always win, but how can I not love a man who defines what it means to be human as “to live forever or die trying … to strive in the face of the certainty of failure … to persist”?
I freely admit that I stole his definition of personhood—that a person is anyone who voluntarily says or otherwise communicates, “Excuse me”. (Thus, several dogs of my acquaintance are people, and a great many humans are not.) Robinson taught me not to shy away from the big stuff.

He also taught me that talking dogs are always funny if you write them right. (You’ll see what I mean by the end of Volume 2, if I can keep that bit about eggs from getting cut …)

5. Peter S. Beagle – This is the most recent addition to the list, but he has to make it just because I’ve spent the last couple of years tracking down every book of his available in every local public library. He got me into fantasy again, pretty much, because he wasn’t writing Tolkien wannabe material. Instead, Beagle’s stories focus on the liminal spaces where ordinary life interacts with the extraordinary bits of fantasy. His most famous book, The Last Unicorn, combines the familiar tropes of fairy tales with a very modern schlemiel of a wizard and a breathtakingly alien force in the unicorn herself. For my money, though, it’s his short stories that are best—like “The Rabbi’s Hobby”, in which a rabbi and a 12-year-old would-be bar mitzvah take on the case of a mysterious young woman appearing in old photographs, and end up unwrapping a tale of ghosts, and regrets, and unexpected uses for antique keys. Or there’s “Oakland Dragon Blues,” in which a dragon (loosely based on the dragon cut from early drafts of The Last Unicorn) comes to life in Oakland, California and goes looking for the author who stopped telling his story before it was done. And for my money, “Mr. Sigerson” is one of the best Sherlock Holmes pastiches I’ve ever read, focusing as it does on the exiled Holmes, now a violinist in a tiny backwater orchestra, becoming involved in a tricky local mystery and learning an unexpected thing or two about his own long-denied humanity. 
 
While I’d like to cite Beagle’s glittering, lyrical prose as an influence on my own, I’m not that good (yet—I hope!) and he’s really on this list for two other reasons. First, his stories gave me the guts to write poetry for the first time since high school, and that’s something I desperately needed for Teh Novel. And second, the very fact of those stories’ existence—the way they shine like perfectly cut jewels—makes me want to write, and write better, and finish things well. I’ve met Mr. Beagle twice at conventions, and both times he has been a faultless gentleman and a warm, wonderful human being. For all I know it’s a clever act and he’s really a total jerk, but at least when I talk to him, he makes me want to be a better person and a much better writer. He’s over 70 years old, though, and you never know with older authors and their health, so I’m hammering away at my current projects, hoping to finish something worthy of being presented to him someday, before I run out of opportunities. I want to thank him for the lessons he’s taught me with his stories, and for the encouragement he’s given me when he didn’t have to do any such thing. Peter S. Beagle and his writing make me want to create something worthy of them both; I hope someday to hand him a copy of a published novel with his name in the acknowledgments, or even the dedication. Even if he never reads it. Even if he never opens it. I just want to thank him properly. Some people are like that.

There are more than a few authors who didn’t make the cut—Jim Butcher, for example, whose joke about his writing motto being “Suffer, Harry, suffer!” inspired my own joking mantra Suffer, characters, suffer. And I can’t go too long without mentioning Homer’s Odyssey, my favorite work of Greek literature, or the original Sherlock Holmes stories, or Neil Gaiman’s Neil Gaiman-ness, or the glorious pulp adventures of Johnston McCulley and Edgar Rice Burroughs, or Michael A. Stackpole’s short story “Peer Review,” which taught me that prose stories about superheroes were a thing. And Stan Lee? Oh, yes.

 
But for now, these five will do. And I hope I’ve done Mrs. Neese proud, sentence fragments and all.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Why my alarm clock now seeks my death



Writing two books at once requires the moral support
of a stuffed Labrador retriever. Don't judge me.
I’m getting to bed late an awful lot these days.

Mind you, coming from a lifelong insomniac, that’s not exactly news. I began making up stories at the age of three because I couldn’t sleep at night and I was bored just lying there staring at the ceiling. (One of these days I’ll finally polish up that space epic about my favorite stuffed unicorn.) But lately I’ve been doing a lot better … except when the story ideas come knocking.

It goes something like this:

I lie down to sleep.

Brain: Hey, you missed something. What if [protagonist] cornered [secondary character] and said [really cool thing]? What about that, huh?

Go away, brain. I’m trying to sleep here.

You always say you’ll write this stuff down in the morning and you never remember. You could start a poem with [really cool line]. Grab a pen!

Stupid brain. Haven’t we had this discussion? Like, for years? And you know you won’t be working tomorrow if I don’t sleep tonight.

I don’t care. Ohhhh, look at this, I found a new way to torture [protagonist of different story]! You can’t imagine this without crying! You’ve got to write it down!

I’m good at torturing my characters. I need sleep more than I need that idea.

But this scene’s been kicking your butt for two weeks and here’s the PERFECT LINE that you will NEVER REMEMBER IF YOU DON’T GET UP AND GRAB A PEN RIGHT NOW … 

So that’s how I end up with bits like this, from a few different stories:

-----

“I’d surely tell you were’t otherwise,” she said. “A funny little thing she must be, from her picture. Can’t be past ten year, and yet those eyes are a hundred years old.” She shook her head. “What did her father teach thee?”

“Lots of things,” I said vaguely, reexamining the photo myself. She was right; the little girl’s eyes were terribly ancient. My owners had eyes like that—even the best youth drugs on the market couldn’t take the years off their eyes. But hers were different somehow. As if her hundred years had been nothing like any of theirs.

-----

“I’ve been dead. You wouldn’t like it.”

--------

“But I’m on their side!” I protested.

“No, you’re not,” he said, his face hardening. “Because they’re not on yours. To them you are a tool, a useful device. No one deserves your loyalty who can’t be bothered to give you a name.”

I sniffed, and ached, and thought about that. Then I narrowed my eyes at [character] and whispered, “You’re loyal to them.”

“That’s different,” he murmured, and leaned back in his chair so we couldn’t talk anymore.

-------

Then they found out they were all going to the same address. And then things got awkward.

-------

“Fine. Damn it. Is there anything left?”

“Come and see,” she said.

-------

And now you know why my sleep cycle is completely bonkers …